I Came Out!!!
I started working when I was 15 and I decided I liked the money! Not only did I like the money but I loved the competition of trying to be the best in every position I held. Im secretly competitive! Well years after years of working in Corporate America, brought much joy. See I was a hard worker and the harder you worked the easier it was to reach the top. I was a #Boss in Corporate America, you couldn’t tell me anything! Learning came easy to me, I was easy to train and caught on really quickly. These jobs became a game to me, how quick could I reach the top and how much money could I make doing it. The bonuses that came with it, oh my did I love those! I would work on jobs and after a 6-month period I would be promoted and 6 more months to year after, I would be promoted again or moved to another department for something different to do. To be honest I would get bored with my positions, quickly! It would take me about 4 months to master and I would be ready to move on to the next assignment.
After I got married and with children, being a housewife was NEVER on my radar! I was going to be in upper management with one of these companies, making tons of money and giving my kids anything they wanted and living a lavish life with my husband. See I loved the early morning hustle and bustle, the highway commute, blazers, pencil skirts, stilettos, blackberry and French vanilla coffee, I was a fiend for it. I was living the life… well so I thought!
I relocated to GA and my whole life changed. It was no longer hard work paid off, it was a new game! Who you know, who you were willing to get to know and order to move up in the company. This was not my game, nor did I know how to play well, it was foreign to me. I remember I kept saying to myself, my work should speak for itself! See I was a self-sufficient, hard working women who worked well alone. I didn’t need to be connected to or know certain people to move up, "I can do bad all by myself" were my thoughts! Well working for this new company in GA turned from bad to worse quickly. I hated that at this company it was all about who you knew and I hated the situation my kids were in. See although I loved my job, I loved my family more. I wanted to always be there for my children, the job was second to family, as it should be.
When we moved to GA our children had to do after school care for the first time and it saddened me. They already did 6 hours at school, they needed to be home to rest and relax for the next day, not on to the next group of people who essentially were Co-parenting with us. By the time they were picked up and home for the evening it was bath time, dinner and bedtime shortly after, this made me so sad. My children were with strangers more then they were with me, but who really was the stranger in the case? It got worse as I was denied time off for field trips and holiday luncheons, award ceremonies and classroom presentations. Sitting at a computer saddened by the fact that my child is looking at every parent walking in the door with excitement hoping it was me and then hurt by the fact its Jimmy and Sally mom. I felt as though I was letting them down. I tried to suppress the feelings, with “it’s the new millennium, everyone does it! There’s a lot of working parents” But that only lasted for so long. I began to hurt more and more. Sitting at the computer not working because im sad and mad I cant just do what I want to do, turned into being in AUX and trips to the restroom to shed tears. I got to a point where I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed to be there for my children. This challenged everything in me! I was in an uncomfortable place. Do I step out of faith and leave all of this money Lord? What about bills and the needs of my children? Then I begin to think, after taxes and everything else, was it really a lot of money and was ANY sum of money worth me missing out of cherished moments I could never get back? These were all questions that had me battling in my mind, what was the right thing to do. After much prayer I was reminded about the gifts and talents that were placed inside of me. I was reminded that I had a loving Husband who would support me and I was reminded that I had children who needed me. Most importantly I was reminded that “His Grace is Sufficient!” I wasn’t valued in corporate America, I would be replaced as soon as I left. Every day I stayed in Corporate America, trying to “climb the ladder” & work to make CEO Bob rich, was another day of my dreams being delayed and a waste of my gifts and talents that God had put inside of me. I wasn’t valuable there. But there was a place where I was needed! First for my family and for the group of people who was waiting for what’s inside of me! Well Im happy to say, they no longer have to wait! I CAME OUT! I came out of the myth that that Corporate America was the only way to go, the only way to make money to provide for my family. I came out of the myth that its every family dream in the US to "climb the ladder" in someone else company. I stepped out on Faith! Im now my own Boss and my family is now reaping the benefits. I have never been happier!